Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
