his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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