God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
