remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
