i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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