Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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