I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
