she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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