Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
