I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
