I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i barfeds in our rink
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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