You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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