Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
