Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize