I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
