My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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