i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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