you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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