Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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