it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
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You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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