my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
