I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
