ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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