I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
