yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
