She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
