Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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