your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
