Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
