is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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