I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
