Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
