Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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