i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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