Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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