omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
