Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
my nose is crying tears of wow.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
