I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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