I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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