Midget sex pt 2 tonight
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
wow bdsm is so cute
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
