and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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