dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
