2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
