I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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