awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
