hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
