So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Randomize
