You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
false alarm. still invincible.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize