He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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