did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
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Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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