i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
