and you said cock pushups were impossible
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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