Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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