I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
