i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
