Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
