Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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