we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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