God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize