you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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