I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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