Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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