a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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