Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
