suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
