real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
