I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
PANTIES FOUND
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