So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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