so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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